Happy Father's Day...

Since this is my own personal blog, I figured it would only make sense to remain completely honest on here. I can be honest in admitting that Fathers Day really isn't my favorite day of the year. Call me cynical, call me emotional, call me whatever you will, but I'm not a fan. Not because I'm bitter or unappreciative of my father, because that's totally not the case. It's actually the polar opposite of that. In all honesty, this day just makes me sad. In July of this year, it will be 7 years since I lost my father to cancer. Seven years?!?! Truth be told, I have my moments where it feels like yesterday. Days like today are the hardest because they're the days I should be spending with him. Where I should be taking the little piece of change I have to take him out to dinner, or to see some live music, or to do whatever the hell he wanted to do. Knowing what i know now, I'd kill for those moments back. I think reasons why his birthday, Christmas. Thanksgiving, today, and the anniversary of his passing are so difficult for me is because I feel like I didn't do enough with him while he was here. I'm a product of divorce, so legally I couldn't see him but maybe twice a week, but there are just moments where I feel like I could have done more...I'm sure if he was sitting next to me reading this while I typed, he would be ready to slap me because he would say that I did the best I could given the circumstances and he knew I loved him...too bad I don't always feel like that...

I say all that to say a couple of things...first, those of you that still have your fathers here on Earth...no matter how tragic the situation, no matter how bitter you may be, no matter how much he may deserve it...just take a moment and either tell him Happy Fathers Day or thank God that he's still walking the Earth...and in turn, thank God for the suitable male replacements He put into your life. I'm a firm believer that if He takes a person in a particular position away from you, there is usually someone waiting in the wings to fill the same role in some capacity. I would be absolutely ecstatic to have one more hug, one more phone call, one more sound of his voice, one more mention of how proud he was, one more dinner, one more argument....just one more minute, hour, or day...

I also say that to say that if anyone reading my blog happens to BE a father, please don't shirk on your responsibility. A father's love is truly and honestly irreplaceable. My mother couldn't and can't do for me what my father could...if you've been tapped by God to receive the blessing known as children, please don't take it lightly, and recognize that it is indeed a blessing. Your kids need you more than you think they do. To those fathers that are there as they should be, you're greatly appreciated, and I hope I'm not the only one that's told you that today....

With all that being said...I'm sending kisses up to Heaven with my father's name on them...I miss him more than words can describe, and more than my pride will ever let me show, but I hope that I am making him proud down here. Attached to my kisses are prayers for the future father of my children, whoever and wherever he may be...between God and my dad, he has big shoes to fill, but I already have the faith that he will be exactly the type of father to my children that they need him to be and that they will love and appreciate him just as I do my own...

Kids, go love on your dad...dads, go love on your kids...Happy Fathers Day...

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